I just finished Skyping D. Our first and the last video call.
I had said all that I wanted to say
Sorry, thank you, I love you
We cleared all the air. There is no more white elephant in the room.
Decided that going forward, we will obey God to stay pure, peace-loving, considerate; peacemakers who sow in peace will raise a harvest of righteousness (James 3:17-18).So which means, no one-to-one convos with a man in a relationship not leading to any commitment. In this way, there will not be temptation, confusion and possible insecurity of the spouse (or future spouse).
My hope is on God. I open my hand. God freely gives and freely take away. He knows the best what is good for me at any time of my life.
It is raining now. I am in my car Issac. Issac has always been my best place to be with myself. I like the rain, the sound of rain dropping on my car is very soothing. At my favourite spot of UM, I see the green, I feel secured and a sense of belonging here. I have all the private space and time I need.
I feel good, relief and a bit lost as I let go of him. From now on, in my mind, there is no more the need to think for him or wonder how he felt. I can rest now. In front of me, is a wide sky. Now my heart is free. I am feeling a energy coming up, to be adventurous again!
God, I choose to love you. I choose to go after you.
Now this chapter is complete. It is beautiful. Like a poem. Like a movie story. Thank you D.
Although challenging, I am glad it was D who was the main character in this chapter 😉
WELL DONE WEN SHIOW, I AM SO PROUD OF YOU!
You have been so true to your heart, you have been courageous to be vulnerable and honest and ready to face the reality. Your love is truly unconditional, your heart is so precious! You are strong and tender. You do have a gentle and quiet spirit. Your strength is in your quietness. Your trust is in your silence (Isaiah 30:15)
You do not give in to selfish ambition or vain conceit, you obey God (Phi 2:3)
Part of me still wonder, if I did things differently, would that change anything? I don’t know. I cannot go back to the past and act differently. I can grow and be better for the next relationship though. I do not regret of everything I have done. I have done my best and let God do the rest, I trust Him. (It is liberating to trust that everyone has done their best and let God do the rest; He is sovereign! This really set me free from bitterness, complain, and expectation)
Wen Shiow, keep growing, keep walking. Life is an adventure and I know you love exploration! Perhaps, next time, if you go for another venture, you can use all the wisdom that you have gained from this experience and see what will happen! You never know, the best is yet to come =)
I am passionate woman.
You are truly a god-fearing woman. How precious you are!!