I joined Salsa lessons when Alex said he was going to try it.
During that period of time, I was lonely and I was desperate for friends. I wanted to join my friend. Dancing sounds great to me as well, new and fun. It is great to enter a classroom environment too, safe and supportive.
When Alex was still here, I enjoyed the time building friendship. I gained companionship. It was exciting to learn how to dance Salsa too. I remember the time when I first hold Alex’s hand, he was shaking! I was very shy as well, especially when we came to close position. I didn’t have any boyfriend, coming that close to a guy is out of my comfort zone. But yes, I overcome it! Now I feel comfortable with dancing touch. Of course, if any guy try to take advantage of me, I will kick him! I like CBL which I can walk like a queen, hahaha… sometimes, I would like to close my eyes and just feel Alex leading me dancing, I can trust him. I learned so much about partnership in dancing. I also leaned much about my body, how ‘kuku’ I am, haha.. I learned how my put my weight relate to my movement, how my shoulder connect to my wrist and control my movement, I learn how to connect but not pressing or pulling my partner, I learn how to respond rather than autopilot. There was crazy conversations among few of us who learn together! So much fun and laughter. I looked forward every Monday night, I could choose a nice dress and meet my friend and have fun together!
After four months, my friend went back to America. Time with him is finished. At the last day before he was gone, I wanted to dance Salsa with him, but I didn’t ask. I was too sentimental and I dare not to let it out. Salsa with Alex, nice memory, good bye.
Then I wasn’t sure whether I want to continue or stay. I decided to stay for another two months to see whether I really like it. So now, no more guy, it was only I and another girl. Teacher is still willing to teach us even though it is only two of us. Teacher is patient and fun. I appreciate my girl friend who we learn Salsa together from scratch. My dance move was improved in this two months as well. I can dance more smoothly. I grow interest in dancing. I like it. Even though only two of us and much postpone and stop, but we do not give up. Thank you Pasca for being so committed and not giving up in this. If it is not you, it is hard to continue this dancing journey.
Now, I have finished my beginner level. I have a decision to make, do I want to continue to intermediate level? A decent pair of dance shoe cost RM300, a monthly lesson fee cost RM130, a weekly time cost Monday night. I gain a hobby. I gain a network to know new friends.
Then I skype with my coach, we talked about many angles to look at this. I can look at this from money and time constrain, from my being, from what I can learn from this, from how this support me to express myself freely etc… then we found out there is context of fear of missing out that it is so hard for me to make decision and I usually end up no making any decision. So I decided to take this as a practice to exercise my muscle of making decision. It was so hard!!! But this is a good place to start with, as whatever I choose, I don’t lose anything. So my decision is no.
Ahh, I just message my teacher and friend that I will stop salsa. I feel more confident and relief. I have hope in the future, if God’s willing, I will take up Salsa again. It’s very fun!
I am so thankful to my coach Nadine who supports me and knows me well, and stands by me always, to see me growing and becoming who I am as created by God.