According to what Madonna said from Vanity Fair, she kept pushing herself to overcome fear of inadequacy, fear of mediocre, fear of uninteresting. I like the honesty of Madonna about fears and insecurities. Deep down, every human fear of something. But I don’t like fear itself. Fear keep us from living out who we really are. Fear creates anxiety and stress. Fear breaks relationship. Fear causes so much hatred, jealousy, cruelty etc. I agree that if we live out insecurity, it is never going to end. I disagree that this type of struggle will never end, because God is love and He cares for us and His compassion is new every morning, and He has given us spirit of love, of power and of sound mind.
I am not surprised by Madonna’s insecurities at all. Insecurity is so common, I can relate totally. I am insecure. I often fear that I am inadequate, not loved, etc too. Thinking of Madonna, her vulnerability make me feel pity of her. I can understand her. I wish she found her answer of coming out of this insecurity spiral. I wish God will heal her broken heart. I do not judge her. She is just a human being.
In my life, I have much fears and insecurities. My biggest fear is being abandoned. This really broke my heart. And so many things are in the way of relationship. Money, work, words, having preference, having differences etc. Therefore, I become resisting to do well in these. I can trace all these back to my childhood relationship with family and also my close friends.
I am willing to share my fears and insecurities. But I am also fearful about this. I afraid I will be a burden. I afraid of judgment. Past experience has cast a shadow in my heart. God, help me to forgive everything. I surrender all the hurts and pains to you. Amen. And thanks God, there are people who I think will still care for me. I think their compassion for me will increase. I thank God for that.
I expect my struggle will end. God is with me. I am also maturing and growing in Christ. Amen.