In 1 Cor 5:1-8, Paul said our authentic identity is flat and plain, not puffed up with wrong kind of ingredient. This is so different from what I hear in the world. My friends will like to be upbeat and make joke that attract attention, Outstanding.
I always wish to be better. In the process, I read book and reflect my life. Sometimes my motivation is wrong and that yeast, puff my up. When I was in Primary 5, I lost a friend over a small thing. I remember I was insisting my own preference, to sit at that particular position along the bench. I was very sad to see my insistent on my preference caused a huge impact. Huge. To that extent, I decided to smile more in order to earn friendships. Little did I know, this decision put me on the path of pleasing people and suppressing who I really am. I change myself whenever I see my dear friends feel not pleased with me. I learned much knowledge on how to please people. Those things are good. But when I use the technique without my heart, I become fake. I do things because I feel like I am not loved and I need to fix this by pleasing people… and when I set my mode to pleasing people, I see others as pleasing people as well and I loath it to receive love. Slowly, I can’t put up anymore, I am so dry and hard. So I puff up a superficial mask. My life is ok, I am doing good. No one knows who I really am, because not even I know who I am anymore!
I want to be free from this yeast. I want to set my heart on trusting. By God’s grace, I am going to go away from worrying and stay secure. Whenever I become doubting of myself, I will look into my image in God, and stay calm. Amen.