Deep down in every soul, we wish to be somebody. Somebody who is so good, so perfect, so nice, so so so…. when we look at one celebrity, we may think, wah… she is so gorgeous..
And when this desire is not fulfilled, we may turn our life into drama. Life is too boring? Let’s put some spice, let’s change something, let’s try something new, let’s go to this exciting activities, let’s have a peep into dangerous spot, etc.. hehehe… the devil is smiling.
However it is not wrong to have this desire! We are wonderfully and fearfully created by God (Psalm 139:14). God created us to have all kinds of desires and emotions. It is not wrong to have the longings. However, heart is also deceitful, we may follow our passions on the wrong and destructive path (Jer 17:9, Mark 7:21).
I personally experienced this alot. Testing is everywhere! I am staying alone, with literally no friends and family to contact me frequently or personally, and I often feel lonely and wish to have some personal attention, I wish somebody will be my good friend, I wish I have an accountable partner, I wish I can share my life with someone, I wish to build sweet and good memory with someone. These are very common desires. But in temptation, I turned my life into drama by accusing people not caring, the circumstances force me to be unhappy, and so on. I was very much troubled by all the conflicts and I was trapped by fears and anxiety. I didn’t know that I was addicted to drama. Until one point, I realized that I fulfill my desire to have attention by being dramatic in personal relationship How strange to notice that I am so uncomfortable to peace. Knowing that I am God’s children and therefore a peace-maker (Matthew 5:9), it was easy to listen to God and choose peace over drama. Dropping hurts, disappointment, blaming, and burden became easy. Just like a switch, and that happen in a day. Then how about my desire to have attention? I found dancing is a good place to fulfill this; I get the chance to dress up, to dance, to have personal attention from my dancing partner. Music is also a good place to get attention. I can play songs for friends on occasions, I happy and they happy. Playing game is also a good place to get attention. Actually, by being good in my contribution, I get attention and the thing I work on will perform excellently. Perfect.
Above all, I have God’s attention and love without doing anything (1 John 4:10). He is my creator and knows every part of me (Psalm 139:13)! Praise the Lord, for He has turned my sorrow into dancing (Psalm 30:10-12)
Psalm 139:13-14 (NIV)
For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.
Jeremiah 17:9 (NIV)
The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?
Mark 7:21 (NIV)
For it is from within, out of a person’s heart, that evil thoughts come–sexual immorality, theft, murder,
Matthew 5: 9 (NIV)
Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God.
1 John 4:10 (NIV)
This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins.
Psalm 30:10-12 (NIV)
10“Hear, O LORD, and be gracious to me; O LORD, be my helper." 11You have turned for me my mourning into dancing; You have loosed my sackcloth and girded me with gladness,12That my soul may sing praise to You and not be silent. O LORD my God, I will give thanks to You forever.