Understanding emotion is not easy. One emotion may lead to the other, so confusing. However, emotion can be actually a very good friend to help me to understand myself when I know how to communicate with it.
I am now feeling hurt for the third case…
Case 3.1 – Hurt
1) what trigger my emotions
I read books on friendship,i.e. what are some characteristic of good friend, how to be a good friend, etc.. the description is so good, I wish I have that kind of friendship too. Then I look back, I recall some friends who stand by me, and some friends who walk away. But the feeling of disappointments are much stronger. I was not being a good friend, nor my friends were; we hurt each other… But those which happened long ago are cooling down. The strong feeling, sadness, is from the recent Case 3. https://blursylvia.wordpress.com/2014/12/02/underlying-the-emotions/
2) what is the impact, what does it mean for me
I was not being listened, I was ignored. I feel like I must be less than other and I am not worthy to be friend to interact with. I know often time I am sensitive and emotional. It is hard for people to accept me if I express..
3) is the hurt legitimate
4) how do I respond to it
– I let myself to feel the hurt and cry. And write and email you. It is better to release the feeling rather than keeping it inside. So that it won’t turn into bitterness and that I don’t habour sourness toward the person.
– If this still bother me alot, or it is recurring and I can’t accept this, I may talk to the person when the time is right and I am ready to express emotion without accusing and the person is ready to listen without defending.
After writing this, I slowly feel angry. My emotion is telling me, I need respect and I deserve respect. Next time if the same thing happen, I just have to stand up and re-state what I said and what I actually mean, without putting down others (now I remember the verse be graceful in conversation). And now I think back again the same thing, I am grateful that there was someone who stand up for me.
In summary, I am thankful to the one who stand up for me, and I forgive the one who let me down. I choose to appreciate friends. I refuse to let this to destroy the friendship. I learn that I need to stand up for myself too (I remember the verse, if it is up to me, keep peace). Also, I understand that I need to be more patient when things are not up to expectation and not to hold obligation on others. Instead, communicate and understand what was happening from the other side. I need to also stand firm in my worth, for Jesus has paid His blood for me to become children of God. Circumstances will not affect who I am and my worth, it is just what happened. It is my perception that introduce the impact.
Therefore, be joyful in any circumstances, give thanks to God, for it is the day he has prepared for me, be joyful in all trials, for I will grow into maturity.. all things work up to good purpose for those who love God.