I am not sure what is this… panic attack?


I feel unloved and unworthy when no one concern about me. I am afraid of telling people my worries because when I tell them, they show blank face, I don’t know if this is rejection or burden or will keep people away. I afraid that my problem will drive people away. I afraid that all my friends will abandon me. I don’t know how to relate to people. I feel like I am a little kid.. I have not been feeling ok since yesterday. I feel so unworthy. I keep crying. I won’t have energy and focus to do things. I will fail my master. I will not teach well, I fail to teach.I am wasting people’s money. I am not playing music well.. I just come and waste time of my trumpet teacher and orchestra. I fail. My parents will be so disappointed and ashamed of me. My church will think I am selfish, I am so bad, not doing God’s will. So much thoughts and emotion is drowning me. Nothing happen Wen Shiow. Take a deep breath. Breathe in breath out. Sometimes tears and cry clean our old wound. Wen Shiow, take up life. God is at your back. God loves you unconditionally. For God has demonstrated His own love for us in this, while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Wen Shiow, it is ok. Just do something. You are brave. You face fear upfront. Bravo. Now, take a baby step. If this doesn’t work, do other things. You are capable. You have so m do many choices to do productive things. You have freedom. So far anybody question you? No, right? Silence doesn’t mean rejection or judgment or doubt. Silence also means trust and space. Wen Shiow, fear is common, I am human. But learn, turn fear into opportunity of growing and power to do the right thing. Wen Shiow, do your best and God will do the rest. God knows the best. Even if you think you are falling, but that is ok, God will catch you. Even if people think bad about you, just live in such a way that you are not, you are living up with your best. Do your best and God will do the rest. Amen.

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