After today, I am not a student anymore. Because I am graduating soon! Right now, I am in my last exam period of my life; next Tuesday, I will enter the examination hall for the last time, for the last paper. I’m so happy! After this, no more exams, CGPA, As or Bs. In fact, I and our course mates, we the final year students no longer care for the grade. Instead, we ask each other questions like: “Hey, where will you go? Will you find a job here in KL or back in home town? How many interviews have you gotten already? Which company? Where? What post? How much is the salary? Or, are you going to further study? Which university?” Blah blah blah. No more school, we are out in real life, standing at the crossroad, trying to figure out which way to go, what we can do? What is our future? Do you still remember the feeling when you have hard decision to make, when you cannot see what is it in your future? Then you understand these feelings; excited, but also feel nervous, doubtful, insecure, do not know what to do, confused, lost…However, thanks God, He is always faithful, He has laid a ministry for me, He has given me peace for my future. For we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do. God has called me into full-time ministry in UM, to serve the students, to guide them in the light of Christ.
It is not out of sudden that I make my heart to serve God full-time. It all started since the beginning. I first believed in Jesus when I was first year student in UM. And since then, with the love and guidance from Keng Yin, Poi Heng, Wan Ping, Uncle Ooi, and many others, I learn the words of God, how to apply God’s word in life and to experience God’s will. And indeed my life is transformed. From a hard and rude person, now I am gentler. From a self-centred person, now I consider other people more. From a self-dependent person, now I trust God for my future. From a reserved and ungrateful person, now I want to reach out to the lost. You can ask Keng Yin or Uncle Ooi about how terrible I was. I give you permission of that. Because of their heart for God, I am saved.
Knowing God is the best in the world. And now after 4 years receiving so much blessing from God, what can I give back to Him? I have no money, no power, no status. But I am young, I have time. I can be the same role as Keng Yin or Poi Heng, like they all, I can share the blessing of God to other students in UM. In Genesis 4, both Cain and Abel gave offering to God. Cain brought some of the fruits of the soil as an offering to the Lord. And Abel also brought an offering – fat portions from some of the firstborn of his flock. The Lord looked with favour on Abel and his offering, but on Cain and his offering he did not look with favour. Well, what offering is acceptable to God? Like Abel, I shall give the first fruits too – my time, the first time when I can decide where I want to put my energy into, not because of formal education or other people forcing me, but because I am willing; the first time when I am more mature and can give impact and to give my life to. It is the time when I still have not much worry, burden or responsibility and can focus on God’s work. So not part-time, not half-hearted, the first fruit of my time, I want to offer it to God. Yes, I will do full-time ministry for God. I want to see the kingdom of God established in UM.
Well, actually, I had had long struggle about this decision. “Full time ministry” is not a common path people will choose. So far, among friends of my age, I only heard of Esther doing it. Few will understand, what is full time ministry? What will I do exactly? What will happen? I don’t know. I can’t figure out. I doubted. So I prayed. And slowly God shows me the harvest field in UM, lays a burden in my heart and gave me peace to go for it. I remember it was 19th April 2011 morning, Pei Yin, Wei Shan, Esther, Keng Yin and I sat on sofa in our apartment, and I just told them, “Yeah, I will do full-time ministry after I graduate.” That very night, as what I will do every night, I read one article from Our Daily Journal. It was about Isaiah 30:21, Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, “This is the way; walk in it.” In the morning I just said God, “I will do this for you”, and then immediately in the night God said, “Yes, this is the way you should go.” Isn’t it amazing? God has affirmed my decision. Amen! What doubt can I have after God said so? Also, God gave me this promise in Isaiah 58:10-12
10 if you pour yourself out for the hungry
and satisfy the desire of the afflicted,
then shall your light rise in the darkness
and your gloom be as the noonday.
11 And the Lord will guide you continually
and satisfy your desire in scorched places
and make your bones strong;
and you shall be like a watered garden,
like a spring of water,
whose waters do not fail.
12 And your ancient ruins shall be rebuilt;
you shall raise up the foundations of many generations;
you shall be called the repairer of the breach,
the restorer of streets to dwell in.
Well, let us build the foundations of many generations in UM! May the wall be rebuilt, may God’s glory be restored. In fact, it is happening now, after us, a new generation; my junior Saw Huey and my house mate Ee Wen are studying Story of Stories with us already. Saw Huey is actually moving into our house next semester, together with another two girls. I’m looking forward to share my life with them. Also, we have a good relationship with some students; we play badminton every Wednesday, jungle trekking at Bukit Gasing every Friday. I believe soon, we are close enough to share Christ with them. And God allows, I-edges are coming in October for ministry too. You see, God has His plan for UM ministry already. God said in Isaiah 43:19, “See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland.” I am excited that God will make spiritual generation comes to UM, and also to USM, to UKM, to campuses all over Malaysia and to the rest of the world! I am so excited to see this vision becomes true and how blessed I am to be part of it!
Lastly, Brothers and sisters, I must take this opportunity to thank you for the love you have given me since my 1st year in UM. Sorry that I can’t name you, in case I miss out some, you all have helped us in many ways; you open your house during Chinese New Year and Christmas, taught us how to read bible, taught English, cook delicious food for training program and some of our events, never forget to give us token when you go outstation, donate furniture or home appliance, provide part-time job, advice us when we have trouble and many other kindness. Thank you all for thinking of us.
Well, I have been talking so much, but I know many of you have much more to tell, you have been through my age, you have made the same decision to serve God, and under God’s mighty hand, you have walked through thick and thin. I wish I will have the chance to hear your stories and to learn from your experience. I appreciate if brothers and sisters can walk with me in my journey, help me, guide me, and advise me for the next 2 years of my full-time ministry. Thank you.