So much happened!! I have experienced much and much more to share =) But too much, so I simply write, sorry ya..
One of the major thing is BERSIH. I’ve follow news on BERSIH keenly these few days, but I am lazy to analyse here, lol. My conclusion is, WE LOVE MALAYSIA.
In the beginning, when my friend invited me to join this event in FB, I rejected because I don’t like politic. Well, I agree to the 8 objectives but to participate? No. Then after few days, there were news about BERSIH is illegal and agenda tersulit blah blah blah, my concern about BERSIH increased. I wonder why our government reacted so vigorously toward BERSIH. Then I realized, BERSIH had become something more than a voice for clean election, but something bigger. I started to think, should I go or not. I hesitated. It may be dangerous. I have no friend going. Haiz.. and I got to work that day le. So better go to work la. But on that morning, I actually got up and prepared to go to work already, but suddenly I changed my mind and sms my boss that I am not going. And we had a real clean up of our living room. That afternoon, I stayed in front of my laptop whole day to follow-up BERSIH. My heart was yearning to go, but I didn’t have the courage.
O courage, I need you!! How I wish I could summon my courage and stand up for righteousness. I wish I had been there. I regretted for not going BERSIH. But trust me, next time I will be there.
My brain always flow in many directions. Just when I am writing this blog, I remember about critical thinking I read today. And there it discusses about contradiction in logic, that I cannot believe in virtue and hard work will lead to success and at the same time believe that wicked one always get richer. Sort of things like this, lazy to type long to explain. But apparently many of us can accept these two concept concurrently. O, hypocrite me! I realized I am sitting on the fence, looking at both sides, double minded. This is why I don’t have courage. Because, obviously, I haven’t made my choice to be righteous, to be godly!
Proof: I was late to reach my internship hospital and leave early for these few weeks. I should know this is industrial TRAINING! I should be trained to follow the working hours, not my own hours. And alas, I was caught by supervisor twice. My heart condemns me. But I still struggle in this, because my internship is so boring!
But now I resolve. I’ve decided. I will surrender. I am going to be very punctual for the days onward. Let this trial be an opportunity to train my perseverance.
And I have learned a lot in this internship. But too much to say, so, haha… lazy la. I now say a lot of ‘Ah Moi’ now, haha.. mix with Malay friends there, started to speak like them already. Good sign.
The older I grow, the more I appreciate Malaysia. It’s just so rich in everything. And so much hidden current which make it all the more attracting. It is peaceful, but yet unjust; it is not dangerous, yet not safe; it is beautiful, yet dirty; it is tolerating, yet suppressing; it is not rigid, yet not cultivating; it is rich, yet poor; it is messy, yet unique. Malaysia is neither here nor there in everything. Mediocrity is Malaysia’s way. While everybody could look down on Malaysia, even ourselves are intimated to say we are Malaysian, there are many top persons in the world are Malaysians.
I really think too much recently. What I wrote here is just a scratch of my thoughts. Too lazy to elaborate every points. And I am too shy to share on my secrets, lol.. got insignificant thing happened which make me very happy, hehehehe..
I know I have strength. Power comes with responsibilities. I want to grow and contribute. I’m still young, future is too near and too far. Just one thing: God, prepare me to do your will!
My points are all over the place, I know. My writing is messy, I know. My mind is not clear, I know. But if I have to really write nicely, it will be very very long!! Even simply write like this also so lengthy already.. lol… so, let’s call it a day. Good night =)
After all, I just write to get my thoughts out, not to get my thoughts sorted. I believe that my brain will do the job even when I am sleeping. Talking non-sense now, I really got to sleep now….. -O- a bit yawn!