半夜睡不著

也許沒有相機的幫助，我就經營不出部落格吧。很難想象自己把日記公開呢，里面有很多心事啊，說出來會讓別人困擾的。也許我能試試的，就說我的近況把。

最近的睡眠不好，晚上十點鐘就累了，早睡早起，但半夜會起來啊！而半夜時特別不想做事，就盡上著網消磨時間啦。連我最輕松的消遣- 玩吉他也不能。

最近我沒有干勁呢，讀好書后找好工作，這樣的目標在我眼前越來越模糊。也許我對未來感到彷徨吧！之前也有過這樣的過渡期，那時的我在煩惱著要過快樂輕松平凡的生活還是精彩有意義的生活。而我做出的結論是：我不需要把自己定格，也不要給自己找那么多煩惱，我只要把當下的事認真的完成，不做會后悔的事，那就行了。

其實我很想念朋友，但我不知道朋友想不想我。放棄似乎是很容易，但我會后悔的。

音乐

我的童年，是在军鼓乐队里渡过；
我的青年，是在BB Band里玩过。

現在我擁有自己的樂器了：小號、吉他。能用我的雙手和嘴巴玩出讓自己和他人幸福的音樂，是一種福氣。

音樂是我的愛好。音樂是神給我的祝福。聼聼那美妙的聲音，不覺得世界也跟著變德美好了嗎？讓心情隨著音符而飄蕩，人生也多了許多色彩。

Colourful

音樂是一逝而過的感動；玩對的音樂能留在心中回響，而玩錯的音符是補救不囘的。玩音樂的人就能明白吧。瞬間的美好，是震撼的。是感動的。是妙不可言的。

工后感

爲什麽是工后感呢？因爲閲讀后的感想是讀後感，所以工作后的感想就是工后感咯=）

工作后才發覺我還太嫩太天真了。現實是不能容許迷糊的，現實是不能妥協錯誤，現實是冷冰冰的。給你做一樣東西，你最好從A問到Z，不然出錯了也沒有人能幫你。我也覺得自己太傲慢、太小看現實了。很多很多不會做的東西，很多很多我不懂的事情，這個世界是很大很廣很複雜的。

回首

好久，沒發文了！！這裡都被我荒廢得雜草叢生了。嘿嘿，對不起啦，我懶惰嘛……

我上了一年的大學了，真的是光陰似箭。 以前，我對大學有很多想象；現在，腳踏實地就好啦。就這樣一步一步瀟灑地走完我的大學生涯吧。想當初我來到馬大時諸多抱怨，現在啊，我反倒很感激呢！神啊縂是把我安排在最好的位子，我真的是太幸福了，有神的眷顧！馬大的調調比較適合我的步伐。這種悠悠自在的生活，最棒了！如果說人生只能選擇有意義和快樂，那麽我的選擇會是後者。這個問題時常出現在我腦海裏。誰人不想往好的方向前進呢？但是，有意義的人就必須是前顧后瞻；快樂的人就享受當下。

聼五月天《后青春期的詩》，就好像走了一遍人生似的。裏面有很多很多的夢，有很多很多的人生。這一生，我們在追求著什麽呢？成功、金錢、名譽、玩樂、偶像、安定、溫飽……數不清。我呢，只要平凡快樂就好，凡事盡本分就對了。不要對我有要求，不要對我有期望，我就是沒有這種想望。我缺少那種熱忱。

時間總是會過的，猶如沙從手中流逝。很多想法也是會從腦中逃跑，消失得無影無蹤。世界就是這樣無常，每天有幾多人死亡，也有幾多人誕生。人生是渺小的，在永恒中我們的一輩子也只是那一小粒的點。有或者沒有，是那麽的重要嗎？一期一會。珍惜。

2009年的2月2日

又開學了！一整天都懶洋洋的~時間都花去哪兒了呢？青春，就是，用力地浪費，然後再，用力地後悔！

唉，蹉跎人生， 我對我人生的方向還是沒有頭緒。。

最近我都一再忘記寫日記，我的自律真的是越來越差了！很多小小的、容易的事情其實才是最難遵守的。

醫生說：一天一粒蘋果，醫生遠離你。這可容易做啦，吃蘋果而已嘛。但是不吃蘋果是更容易做的事情。

這是二月二日，來赴一個全民寫日記的邀約的邀約，部落格共同書寫記錄。

Yakko’s World

Nations of the World- (flag)

Nations of the World- (without lyrics)

Nations of the World- (with lyrics)

This song is so cute!

YAKKO’S WORLD

(M: Traditional [The Mexican Hat Dance] L: Randy Rogel)

Lyrics:

United States, Canada,

Mexico, Panama,

Haiti, Jamaica, Peru;

Republic Dominican,

Cuba, Carribean,

Greenland, El Salvador too.

Puerto Rico, Columbia,

Venezuela,

Honduras, Guyana, and still;

Guatemala, Bolivia,

then Argentina,

and Ecuador, Chile, Brazil.

Costa Rica, Belize,

Nicaragua, Bermuda,

Bahamas, Tobago, San Juan;

Paraguay, Uruguay,

Suriname, and

French Guiana, Barbados, and Guam.

Norway, and Sweden,

and Iceland, and Finland,

and Germany now one piece;

Switzerland, Austria,

Czechoslovakia,

Italy, Turkey, and Greece.

Poland, Romania,

Scotland, Albania,

Ireland, Russia, Oman;

Bulgaria, Saudi Arabia,

Hungary,

Cyprus, Iraq, and Iran.

There’s Syria, Lebanon,

Israel, Jordan,

both Yemens, Kuwait, and Bahrain,

the Netherlands, Luxembourg,

Belgium, and Portugal,

France, England, Denmark, and Spain.

India, Pakistan,

Burma, Afghanistan,

Thailand, Nepal, and Bhutan;

Kampuchea, Malaysia,

then Bangladesh, Asia,

and China, Korea, Japan.

Mongolia, Laos,

and Tibet, Indonesia,

the Philippine Islands, Taiwan;

Sri Lanka, New Guinea,

Sumatra, New Zealand,

then Borneo, and Vietnam.

Tunisia, Morocco,

Uganda, Angola,

Zimbabwe, Djibouti, Botswana;

Mozambique, Zambia,

Swaziland, Gambia,

Guinea, Algeria, Ghana.

Burundi, Lesotho,

and Malawi, Togo,

The Spanish Sahara is gone;

Niger, Nigeria,

Chad, and Liberia,

Egypt, Benin, and Gabon.

Tanzania, Somalia,

Kenya, and Mali,

Sierra Leone, and Algier;

Dahomey, Namibia,

Senegal, Libya,

Cameroon, Congo, Zaire.

Ethiopia, Guinea_

Bissau, Madagascar,

Rwanda, Mahore[?], and Cayman;

Hong Kong, Abu Dhabi,

Qatar, Yugoslavia,

Crete, Mauritania,

then Transylvania,

Monaco, Liechtenstein,

Malta, and Palestine,

Fiji, Australia, Sudan!

If you are interested to learn, here you go!

If you need to refer to the error, here is the link:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yakko%27s_World

I’ve Learn

I’ve Learned I’ve learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is be someone who can be loved. The rest is up to them. I’ve learned that no matter how much I care, some people just don’t care back. And it’s not the end of the world. I’ve learned that it takes years to build up trust, and only seconds to destroy it. I’ve learned that it’s not what you have in your life, but who you have in your life that counts. I’ve learned that you can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes. After that, you’d better know something. I’ve learned that you shouldn’t compare yourself to the best others can do, but to the best you can do. I’ve learned that it’s not what happens to people, It’s what they do about it. I’ve learned that no matter how thin you slice it, there are always two sides. I’ve learned that you should always leave loved ones with loving words. It may be the last time you see them. I’ve learned that you can keep going long after you think you can’t. I’ve learned that heroes are the people who do what has to be done When it needs to be done regardless of the consequences. I’ve learned that there are people who love you dearly, but just don’t know how to show it. I’ve learned that sometimes when I’m angry I have the right to be angry, but that doesn’t five me the right to be cruel. I’ve learned that true friendship continues to grow even over the longest distance. Same goes for true love. I’ve learned that just because someone doesn’t love you the way you want them to doesn’t mean they don’t love you with all they have. I’ve learned that no matter how good a friend is, they’re going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that. I’ve learned that it isn’t always enough to be forgiven by others. Sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself. I’ve learned that no matter how bad your heart is broken, the world doesn’t stop for your grief. I’ve learned that our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become. I’ve learned that just because two people argue, it doesn’t mean that they don’t love each other. And just because they don’t argue, it doesn’t mean they do. I’ve learned that sometimes you have to put the individual ahead of their actions. I’ve learned that two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different. I’ve learned that no matter the consequences, those who are honest with themselves get farther in life. I’ve learned taht your life can be changed in a matter of hours by people who don’t even know you. I’ve learned that even when you think you have no more to give, when a friend cries out to you, you will find the strength to help. I’ve learned that writing, as well as talking, can ease emotional pains. I’ve learned that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon. I’ve learned that it’s hard to determine where to draw the line between being nice and not hurting people’s feelings and standing up for what you believe. I’ve learned to love and be loved. I’ve learned… Omer B. Washington

Fish Leong – 会呼吸的痛 Pain that breathes

歌名 / Name：会呼吸的痛 / Hui Hu Xi de Tong / Pain that Breathes
歌手 / Artist：梁静茹 / Liang Jing Ru / Fish (Jasmine) Leong

zai dong jing tie ta di yi ci tiao wang
在东京铁塔　第一次眺望
at the Tokyo Tower, first time looking out

kan deng huo mo fang zhui luo de xing guang
看灯火模仿　坠落的星光
looking at the lights imitating the fallen star

wo zhong yu dao da dan que geng bei shang
我终於到达　但却更悲伤
I’ve finally arrived but sadder than before

yi ge ren wan cheng wo men de meng xiang
一个人完成　我们的梦想
I‘ve achieved our goal

ni zong shuo shi jian hai hen duo, ni ke yi deng wo
你总说　时间还很多　你可以等我
you’ve always said, there is still lots of time, you can wait for me

yi qian wo bu dong de, wei bi ming tian jiu you yi hou
以前我不懂得　未必明天　就有以后
before I didn’t understand, that there’s a tomorrow, doesn’t mean there’s a future

(***beginning of chorus)
xiang nian shi hui hu xi de tong ,ta huo zai wo shen shang suo you jiao luo
想念是会呼吸的痛　它活在我身上所有角落
missing you is the pain that breathes, it lives on every part of my body

heng ni ai de ge hui tong, kan ni de xin hui tong, lian cheng mo ye tong
哼你爱的歌会痛　看你的信会痛　连沉默也痛
humming the song you loved hurts, looking at your letters hurts, even the silence hurts

yi han shi hui hu xi de tong ,ta liu zai xie yi zhong lai hui gun dong
遗憾是会呼吸的痛　它流在血液中来回滚动
regret is the pain that breathes, it flows back and forth within my blood

hou hui bu tie xin hui tong, hen bu dong ni hui tong ,xiang jian bu neng jian zui tong
后悔不贴心会痛　恨不懂你会痛　想见不能见最痛
regretting not have cared enough hurts, hating not have understood you enough hurts, wanting to see you but can’t hurts the most

（***end of chorus)

mei kan ni lian shang zhang yang guo ai shang
没看你脸上　张扬过哀伤
didn’t see any sadness come across your face

na shi zhong duo me ji mo de jue jiang
那是种多么　寂寞的倔强
that is such a lonely stubbornness

ni chai le cheng qiang ,rang wo qu liu lang
你拆了城墙　让我去流浪
you’ve taken away the safety wall, and let me out on my own

zai yuan di deng ,wo ba zi ji kun bang
在原地等我　把自己捆绑
staying put, I’ve bundled myself up

ni mei shuo ni ye hui ran ruo ,xu yao yi lai wo
你没说　你也会软弱　需要依赖我
you didn’t say, that you may become weak too, needed my support

wo jiu zhuang bu xiao de, zi you yi dong zi wo de guo
我就装不晓得　自由移动　自我地过
I pretended that I didn’t know, moved freely, lived my own life

***chorus

wo fa shi bu zai shuo huang le ,duo ai ni jiu hui bao ni duo jin de
我发誓不再说谎了　多爱你就会抱你多紧的
I promise I won’t lie any more, how tight I hold you means how much I love you

wo de wei xiao dou jia le, ling hun xiang piao fu zhe ni zai jiu hao le
我的微笑都假了　灵魂像飘浮著　你在就好了
my smile is all fake now, my soul seems to be just floating, it’ll be okay if you are here

wo fa shi bu rang ni deng hou ,pei ni xiang zuo de wu lun shen me
我发誓不让你等候　陪你做想做的无论什么
I promise I won’t let you wait, I’ll be with you for whatever you want to do

wo yue lai yue xiang bei ke, pa xin bei ren chu peng ,ni hui lai na jiu hao le
我越来越像贝壳　怕心被人触碰　你回来那就好了
I’m more and more like a shell, afraid of being contacted by people, it’ll be okay if you are back

neng chong lai na jiu hao le
能重来那就好了
it’ll be okay if everything can just start over

——————————————————————————–

思念的痛，現在我懂了。。

回来了！

去了大学一个月，终于有时间让我好好的写部落格了

一个月的时光，却让我感觉像是一年。。時間的流逝好像不是用秒來計算的，而是用所經歷過的事件來衡量的。

我经历了很多吗？也許，我的确觉得自己成长了。

我啊，其实还有点动摇。。

思考了两个月，我终算整理了一些头绪。虽然花了很长的时间，但是值得！至少我有在思考，为自己的未来负责。

UM vs NUS

兩所儅囯最好的大學，我何其幸運都得到offer。。

未来的自由 vs 当下的精彩

嗯，其實這是錢的問題。在馬大讀書的話，就不必負很重的債務了。那麽，到時候我就不會因負債問題而限制自己做任何選擇了。而且也不必被bond三年。。但相對的，也享受不到NUS的精彩了！

自我成长 vs 竞争中成长

在馬大，也許沒有那種競爭的環境，而競爭往往就能促使進步。所以，若真的要在馬大讀得成功，則必須自我鞭策。。這種自律，也許能成爲我以後成功的秘密！

缺乏动力但有机会发展的平台 vs 龙争虎斗的、适者生存的世界

不满而要求 vs 被要求而进步

自发性学习 vs 教育指导

好的教育能把一個人的潛能帶出來，也能培養出全方位的人。而且，好的教育能啓發學生，進而引導學生走上成功之道！但是，若我能自發性的學習，那麽也未必會比接受好教育的人差。。再説，馬大也不會差啦，至少我現在就有幾個很好的ｌｅｃｔｕｒｅｒ了。

实际 vs 理想

又是現實的問題，錢！去NUS讀的話，我媽媽會有很大的壓力吧！我的夢想不可以建築在媽媽的痛苦上！馬大給的課程又比較好：生物醫藥工程。而且，馬大應該不會太差的，我要試着去相信。。

After all, both choice is good. Like the poem “The road not taken”

The Road Not Taken

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood, And sorry I could not travel both And be one traveler, long I stood And looked down one as far as I could To where it bent in the undergrowth;Then took the other, as just as fair, And having perhaps the better claim Because it was grassy and wanted wear, Though as for that the passing there Had worn them really about the same,And both that morning equally lay In leaves no step had trodden black. Oh, I marked the first for another day! Yet knowing how way leads on to way I doubted if I should ever come back.I shall be telling this with a sigh Somewhere ages and ages hence: Two roads diverged in a wood, and I, I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference.    Robert Frost

其实，如果一个人真的有那个器，到哪里都能成功的。

若我够好，在UM也能发挥，学得好，脱颖而出；若我不够好，去到NUS也只会沦为平凡的小草而已。。

Plan Your Future

其实我还有个不切实际的想法。那就是，若真的不满意马大，明年再申请NUS和NTU吧！就算失望也不能絕望！也許你會笑我浪費時間浪費金錢。。但縂好過後悔遺憾一輩子！

 

我真的很希望能有个很好的大学生涯。。

 

因为，人生中最美好的时光就是大学时期吧！这个年龄是最棒了!既无负担也是最敢最疯最有梦想的时候。。一群这样的人在一起，怎能过得不精彩呢？

少不清狂妄少年！

我不要我的一生就這樣！渾渾噩噩的過，一點夢也沒有。。

Lucky~

我真的很幸運噢，在來大學的短短幾天内，我就認識了一位思想和我接近的人^^

我們啊，有很多相似之処。連那Positive thinking都一樣。对很多事情的看法都很接近。。

重點是，很容易就能明白彼此的想法，因爲我們太接近了。

嗯，認識煒善真的很開心。。

知己，知己，知我者也！

這就是緣分吧！哈哈，我的貴人呢！

縂覺得自己很lucky，一直以來都有貴人出現。

謝謝噢！